


Not Two, As You Were Told, but Three Instead

by glitterandlube



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-07
Updated: 2010-08-07
Packaged: 2017-10-10 23:36:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/105690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterandlube/pseuds/glitterandlube
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the longest story I have written to date.</p><p>Notes: Draco is not losing his hair. Also, the thing about Lucius and the money is from Fortune magazine, every year they do this bit about the richest fake people, and Lucius is on that list. Not that I'm implying Lucius isn't a real person. I wrote this because I wanted to read a Ginny that I actually like. I don't know why that took 17,500 words. Also, I was attempting to experiment with writing a plot! I believe I had a plot A and a plot B, but you can tell me if I actually pulled it off or not. [No.]</p><p>Beta by Lexstar29 who went over this twice, and was a huge help, and thank you so much! You are always the nicest and sweetest person, and I am thankful to have met you. Luckily, she is British, so she can cover all sides of the Harry Potter world.</p><p>This story is dedicated to coffeejunkii who is the one that really made me seriously interested in HP and H/D, and  and  because I spent a year in total love with their creation! Which is still going strong. <3 Thanks so much to all of you.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Not Two, As You Were Told, but Three Instead

**Author's Note:**

  * For [coffeejunkii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeejunkii/gifts), [psychobarfly](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=psychobarfly), [taradiane](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=taradiane).



> This is the longest story I have written to date.
> 
> Notes: Draco is not losing his hair. Also, the thing about Lucius and the money is from Fortune magazine, every year they do this bit about the richest fake people, and Lucius is on that list. Not that I'm implying Lucius isn't a real person. I wrote this because I wanted to read a Ginny that I actually like. I don't know why that took 17,500 words. Also, I was attempting to experiment with writing a plot! I believe I had a plot A and a plot B, but you can tell me if I actually pulled it off or not. [No.]
> 
> Beta by Lexstar29 who went over this twice, and was a huge help, and thank you so much! You are always the nicest and sweetest person, and I am thankful to have met you. Luckily, she is British, so she can cover all sides of the Harry Potter world.
> 
> This story is dedicated to coffeejunkii who is the one that really made me seriously interested in HP and H/D, and and because I spent a year in total love with their creation! Which is still going strong. &lt;3 Thanks so much to all of you.

**Backstory:**

Lucius Malfoy did go to prison, but due to a lot of charitable donations, plus the fact that the Ministry had sort of turned evil in about 17 seconds, and was slightly embarrassed about it, he managed to sweep a lot of things under the rug. In addition, Narcissa wrote a great number of letters apologizing to a great many people, and Harry Potter, who should have known better, vouched for the Malfoys. Well, for Draco and Narcissa, which was fine, but they carried it over to Lucius, and that's why Harry should have known better.

Lucius got out of prison, and made a lot of speeches about being ashamed, and learning his lesson, and how he wanted to heal the rift he had helped cause. Of course, by this he meant, that he was ashamed he backed a lunatic who was defeated by someone his son's age, and that he planned to make a hell of a lot of money and just buy everything. Once he owned it all, he could rearrange things as he saw fit. It seemed like a better approach. Draco threw a dinner roll at him when he explained, and told him he was joining the Aurors. Lucius frowned at this announcement. That job didn't pay all that much, so he asked Draco if he wouldn't reconsider, but Draco muttered darkly, "I have some things to make up for," and Lucius wisely decided to leave it alone.

The first day of training everyone stared at Draco the entire first hour, and whispered back and forth. Harry rolled his eyes, and cornered Draco during their first break, and said, "Explain right now." Draco replied snidely, "I felt like it was my turn to do the stalking again." They ended up shouting at each other, and in all defiance to anything involving logic, or good taste, they ended up as partners. Harry had long suspected the world was out to get him, but it was rather nice to continue getting concrete proof. He went ahead and married Ginny anyway, because at least he would get sex while the world was trying to kill him, as opposed to say, all the rest of his life. They had several children because it was the Weasley way, and at some point, Draco also had a child. There was a lot of question as to how. Hermione suggested cloning.

**Prologue:**

_Some years after the Back-Story- say five or six._

The first time Harry went to the Manor years after Draco became his partner was slightly nerve-wracking. It wasn't that he didn't trust Draco, mostly, it's just...the rest of his family. He brought Ron, and Hermione as well, and they all stood with Draco in the foyer staring at each other until Draco said, "Look, this is a bit awkward, I would understand if you don't want to be here."

Harry replied, "I refuse to let your father think I'm afraid of him."

Draco nodded seriously. "I suppose Ron and Hermione are with you so we can have a reunion."

"Yes." Harry said firmly. "That is absolutely why they are here. Ginny insisted. On a reunion."

"Alright then. Let's go into the parlor, we have a lot of cake there. All kinds, chocolate, vanilla, almond, and some sort of fluffy stuff I've never seen before." Draco looked very excited as he spoke.

Ron said, suspiciously, "Did you poison it?" and Harry and Hermione both said, "Ron!"

Draco replied in a horrified tone, "I would never do such a thing to cake! Poisoning is for things like soup."

They all looked at him and he hastily said, "We're not having any soup." They all relaxed.

An hour later their notes were spread out, and Harry and Draco were reviewing three cases they thought might be linked while Ron continued to eat cake and get crumbs everywhere. Hermione organized the photographs with a rather horrified look on her face. There seemed to be much more blood involved then wizarding deaths usually had.

Lucius Malfoy walked in and they all looked up. He sneered for a long moment, and then looked at Harry and said, "And I suppose you expect an apology?"

Harry replied, "I'd rather not die from holding my breath actually."

Lucius turned to Draco and said, "I do not understand him. What did he say to me?"

Draco sighed, and said, "It's a rather rude way of saying he didn't think you'd ever give him one."

Lucius turned back to Harry, and slowly said, "You may be more intelligent than I gave you credit for, Potter." Then he turned to leave as Draco yelled, "Father!"

Lucius huffed and turned around. His face went through several interesting changes before he said, "I'm...sorry for locking you in the dungeon, and trying to have you killed." He paused. "Several Times."

Draco prompted, "And?"

Lucius looked sharply at his son and said, "What and?" Draco glared at him, until Lucius hesitantly added, "And I promise never to do it again?" He stared at his son in further confusion as Draco continued to glare. Draco huffed. "We went over this! I even wrote it down! Apologize for Ginny Weasley!"

Lucius' lip curled and he said, frostily, "I apologize for the incident with the Weasley girl."

Harry inquired, "Are you sorry that you hurt her, or are you still sorry that you lost your house elf?"

Lucius looked at Draco who drawled out, "The first one." Lucius nodded.

Ron said, "I think you should also apologize for generally being evil, and for being rude to my family all the time. Also, for several other things that will come to me in time."

Hermione added, "And for acting like you're superior to everyone else."

Lucius stood there for a long moment, and then said, "I'm not sorry I am better than everyone else," and swept dramatically out of the room.

Draco looked at all of them apologetically and Ron said, "Eh, better than nothing, I guess."

Draco remarked, "You know, that kind of attitude is why your family is broke all the time." Harry smacked him as Draco laughed.

Ron shrugged and said, "At least we aren't all gits." Draco raised an eyebrow at that statement. "Plus, your mum sent us all letters, so I don't really care about your dad. And well, you apologized, so there's that."

They were all quiet again, until Draco said, "I am sorry. I..." and Harry pushed the folder over to him and said, "Keep looking, Draco."

Draco pushed some of the parchment into a sort of order before looking at Harry out of the corner of his eye and saying, "Do you forgive me though?"

Harry looked up at him, surprised, and said, "I forgave you a long time ago, Draco."

 

** _Five Years Later_**

**Friday Morning**

"GOD DAMMIT!"

"Draco, shut up."

"NO! I WILL NOT BE SILENCED! I am a Specialized Auror and that means I should damn well be listened to!" Draco's yelling was cut off as Harry Potter waved his hand lazily.

Ron laughed his arse off as Harry said, "Malfoy, you walked into that silencing spell, admit it. Oh, I'm sorry you can't, because I can't hear you. Carry on then, Ron."

Draco started smacking at Harry's arm. Harry grabbed Draco's wand, and scooted over so he was blocking most of Draco's ability to move. It was pretty much the best way to handle things. Draco was going to curse his own lineage regardless, so he might as well not get hit while that was going on.

Ron smiled as he laid out the plan. "We are all going to sneak into the heavily guarded and warded house where they are hiding Zimera Smith, kidnap him right under everyone's noses, and shuffle him back here. Then we will torment him until he tells us what we want to know. Namely why on earth no one will tell us what the hell is going on in the department? Everyone is constantly acting like nothing is going on, and yet, we keep having all these bizarre occurrences."

"We can't steal a witness out from under the Unspeakables." Draco glared at both of the men sitting with him. And then he stole another jam donut, because honestly, putting up with these two meant a man deserved, at minimum, three jam donuts.

"Says who?"

"Me! I just said it!" Draco stared at both of them in shock. They were both sitting right next to him for Merlin's sake!

"Pfft. You also said we couldn't stop that wizard who stole a tank and magicked it up to storm a bunch of people's houses because he misunderstood that documentary on muggle wars and we did that."

"No, we did not! He took out half a neighborhood! It was a huge failure! And Shackleford said we would all be sacked if did anything that stupid again!"

"We came very close to doing it." Ron sulked into his tea. They nearly had! Very close it was! Pity that the turning point had been when Draco threw a snake into the top of the tank and the wizard had come screaming out of the damn thing, yelping, and carrying on. Unfortunately, most of the town of Wilfshire was already destroyed. Of course, you've never heard of this town, but that's because Hermione is a very clever witch.

"I'm quitting. Immediately. This job, and this partnership, and also, this life. I am going to turn myself into a lovely kitten, and live out my days being worshiped and pampered."

"I'll make sure you're a girl kitten." Harry said as he frowned at his coffee. There were definitely grounds in it again. He knew that Barista hated him. She always gave him a dirty look when he placed his order.

"You ruin EVERYTHING!"

"I bet you'll be very popular with the boy kittens." Harry made an EXTREMELY filthy series of hand gestures that led to Draco squawking loudly and muttering about bestiality running in the Potter family.

Ron looked at both of them in horror. "This conversation is starting to move into uncomfortable territory again. Please stop."

Everyone else in the shop was looking at their table with way too much interest. Draco waved his hands and said, "This is not Harry Potter! That scar is a fake! And I am not Draco Malfoy! Do stop staring at us just because we appear to look like famous people."

"Are you famous?" Harry asked as he slid Ron's coffee over to his side of the table.

"Yes."

"For what then?" Ron asked as he bemusedly watched Harry steal his mug. This was a fairly common occurrence. Draco tended to nick things as well. Ron wasn't sure if it was a sign of affection, or a poor upbringing, but he didn't mind.

"Having excellent hair and some other stuff."

"Other stuff like being my partner?" Harry was now carefully examining Ron's coffee to see if there were grounds in it. "Or other stuff like formerly being evil?"

"No. Stuff like my father being horribly clever and almost crashing the wizarding money market by making another zillion dollars last year. I was trying to be polite and not bring it up in front of the Weasel again."

Harry said darkly, "Right. I forgot about that."

Draco smiled winningly, and said, "I didn't. You're still paying for the coffee."

Ron laughed.

**Friday Afternoon**

Ron, Harry, and a very annoyed Draco were in the car on the way to the sneaking about and kidnapping portions of the day.

Ron was driving as Harry needed to be leaning over the top of the front seat to make sure Draco didn't attempt to escape out the door. Again. He was Harry's partner, dammit, and that meant whatever stupid thing Harry did, Draco was damn well going to do too. There was a rule. Plus, Harry had promised to tell Draco what happened to BuckBeak and where he might be located for painful death if Draco came along. [Harry was lying but so what? Draco did it constantly. Frequently for Harry's benefit, but that was irrelevant.]

They continued the fight from that morning.

"I'll have you know, Malfoys are never fired! Mostly, we storm off in a huff, and call everyone around us plebeians. It's our way."

"Is there a book of the Malfoy way somewhere? I'd rather like to read it. Is acting like a fucking pansy written on the first page in rather large font? I have a bet with my dad about this." Ron glanced in the rear view mirror to watch Draco get huffy.

Draco glared at Ron as he sniped, "Yes. It's written in purple script much like the Weasley book is written all in red and says 'you must be poor' and 'have too many damn redheaded children.'"

"I'm not poor, and I only have the two. Ginny's not poor, and she only has the three. Bill isn't..."

"Oh, do shut up."

"Both of you shut up before I point out that both your books have extensive chapters on the effects of inbreeding in them."

Draco moved forward and said, "Were you the one who started that rumor that my parents were secretly brother and sister?"

Harry gave Draco a funny look. "No, I wasn't, but they do have very similar hair, are you sure they aren't?"

Draco started laughing, in between lecturing about his great and wonderful family tree, and Harry looked pleased. Ron glanced at them beaming at each other, and mentally shrugged. He'd decided a long time ago not to be jealous over anything concerning Harry and Draco, because it was kind of pointless. Harry included him in everything, and deep, deep, down, in a place Ron would never admit, school probably would have been a hell of a lot fun if they had been friends with Draco instead of enemies. Draco really was completely shameless.

On the other hand, they probably would have burnt Hogwarts down by fourth year, so maybe it was for the best. Draco was in the back now naming all the myriad ways the Potter family was probably closely related, and Harry was mocking Lucious Malfoy's poncy way of speaking. As their heads got closer together, Ron thought about the last time he'd seen them drunk together, and how they had both got up on the bar, and done a very excellent dance to some vile muggle music.

Of course, it was ruined when he had heard his sister lean over to his wife and say, much too loudly, "I bet it would be really hot to watch them shag!" and Hermione had giggled. Ron had yelped, "That is your husband! You should not say such things about your husband!"

Ginny had laughed, and yelled, "Malfoy! Take off his shirt!"

There was a picture in the visor of later that night when Ron had crawled up on the bar, and Harry had put his arms around both of them, and mashed their heads together. Someone had taken many shots of how their hair mingled together, and Hermoine had that one, but Ron's copy was them all grinning. Ron had a feeling that as long as that picture was present, nothing could really happen to them. So far, he's been pretty right on.

[A hair picture had also shown up in the Prophet where the reporter had dryly commented, 'I remember the Three Graces being a bit prettier than this.' Draco had been incensed. Harry and Ron had spent that day assuring him he was plenty pretty by stopping random people on the street for their opinions.]

The actual kidnapping went pretty well, they got the prisoner out fairly quickly, and started asking him a rapid series of very intelligent questions. [Malfoy wrote them up.] Of course, the man knew absolutely nothing, and it ended up being a horrible waste of time. Malfoy started off with an elaborate story after they'd returned him about seeing the wizard escape out a window, and chasing him through several houses, and perhaps a few shrubberys. Malfoy kept talking until Ron clapped his hand over his mouth, and said, "It's extremely unfortunate how we have to leave right now, but what can you do?" and they all ran off.

**Saturday Morning**

"You know he's in love with you." Ginny frowned at the newspaper in front of her. There was a large, moving photograph of a teapot on the cover. It appeared to have a face and hands and was dancing across someone's table.

Harry peered at Ginny over, a confused look on his face, as he asked, "Who's in love with me? That bloke that drops off the post? I did think it was a bit odd that he always tries to compliment my feet."

"I meant Draco actually."

Harry snorted. "Not bloody likely."

"He spent half of Hogwarts following you around, and now he stares at you constantly." Ginny turned the page in the paper. There were additional pictures of the dancing teapot. Perhaps they were hard-up for news? She pondered setting up a fake break-in at work, but the Goblins really had no sense of humor about those kind of things.

"Yeah, but only because he's thinking of ways to maim me." Harry looked thoughtful. He was a bit behind on maiming plans himself. He shouldn't slack off like that. Eternal vigilance!

"Or because he'd like a go with you."

"I think you need to stop reading those rubbish novels you get in the queue at the market. All sorts of crazy ideas in your head because of that."

"You ask Hermione when she comes over tomorrow." Now there was a picture of a dancing grooming set. Ginny shook her head.

"Oh, no, I am not asking Hermione if Draco Malfoy fancies me! I would never hear the fucking end of it for one thing, and two, he's my partner, if he does have a thing for me, it means he's less likely to leave me to die so there you have it."

"There I have what? Was that supposed to be a conclusion of some sort?"

"A good wife wouldn't make fun of me like that. Sometimes I wonder why I married you."

"I believe you told everyone at my last birthday party that it was my marvelous tits." Ginny remarked idly as she continued to flip through the paper.

"Well. There have been several articles in the back of the Prophet about them."

"A good husband would punch someone in the face for those."

"Eh, Kingsley said I was forbidden from punching reporters in the face anymore. You know, after that last time."

"I still can't believe Rita Skeeter's nephew sued the Auror Department for that."

"In retrospect, I probably shouldn't punch people, and then gloat over them about it."

"I suppose." Personally, Ginny had thought the whole thing was hilarious, but had had to pretend to be upset so as not to set a bad example for the children. Not that any of them fell for it. Their children were all very bright.

"Draco thought it was funny though."

"You know, in the future, you should assume anything Draco finds funny is probably something you should not do." Ginny stopped reading the paper to look at Harry as she said this. It really was an important rule to live by.

"I know, but I only ever remember that after I've done something horrid, and he's hanging off me in glee."

"It really is a good thing you saved the world that one time."

"Don't tell anyone that I only did it because the other option was living in Australia under an assumed name."

"I would never." They smiled at each other as their children came down the stairs to forage for food, tea, and other things that might be accidently in the cupboards. Once they had found the remains of an armoured bear. No one wanted to claim responsibility. Harry frowned as five children came into the kitchen. He turned to Ginny and said, "I remember only having the three."

She leaned over and said, "Me too." They both stared at the extras curiously.

Monday Morning

"Potter. Hey, Potter. POTTER! OI! GET OVER HERE!"

Harry ran over to where the assistant to the assistant of the junior undersecretary to the acting head of the department of Things We Don't Like to Speak About in Good Company was standing. [or TSGC] [Oh fine, it's not really called that. It's actually called the Right and Proper Way Not to Share Decidedly Important Information with Common Riff-Raff Who Do Not Need to Know About It and Thus Ruining All Our Important, but not Devious, Planning. They had to shorten it up somehow - the meetings were taking forever.] For some reason, Harry was never clear on, the Aurors were located under this department. He had asked for an explanation several times, but each time someone attempted, it would rain in the Ministry. After the third time, he wisely stopped asking.

Harry took the parchment off the man, and skimmed it over. The er, assistant was making quite a lot of distressed noises as Harry read:

'Dear Mr. Potter,

It has come to the attention of TSGC that there may, or may not be, criminals lurking about in muggle London. We need yourself and Mr. Malfoy to go undercover and search about for three men, who will be wizards, and possibly be dressed oddly. Oddly for muggles, not wizards. Well, actually, oddly for both, since they will probably have some sort of mixture of...this is rubbish. They attempted to kidnap a witch and have their way with her alligator. This kind of thing must be put to an end! We can not have conversations about people who have sex with alligators in public! It's very rude! And also, very disturbing, I don't really understand how it would even be possible, but anyway! I will not stand for it! Off at once Mr. Potter!

Signed,

The Director of All Things Proper and Just,

Malfred Ashman Lorcaquious.

ps. Do tell Malfoy's father to stop mucking with monetary policy. The man does not need anymore damn gold. He can not buy all of wizardom. Good Day to you.'

Harry stared at the letter in confusion. He was pretty sure the Director was a little drunk when he wrote this, and well, that meant Harry didn't have to do anything, but undercover was fantastic, so he went off to fetch Malfoy. He found Malfoy in the break room explaining to Seamus why it was probably okay to drink on the job, just as long as no one catches on. Harry rolled his eyes and dragged Malfoy off.

"Stop telling people that, you're going to get everyone sacked."

"That's tragic." Draco smiled brightly. "What are we doing today? Is it going to involve mystery or intrigue?"

"We're going undercover."

"Excellent! I shall fetch my muggle disguise hat." Harry followed Draco over to his desk, where Malfoy started pulling open various drawers.

"How did you know that we were going undercover as muggles?" Harry inquired.

"I didn't, I just like wearing the hat." Draco answered as he put a black fedora on his head. Harry had to admit it did look a little bit dashing.

He slid his arm around Draco's waist, and said, leaning very close, "You do look quite fetching in that hat, you suppose we should have a go in the supply closet?"

Draco sniffed. "Normally, I would be yelling about sexual harassment right now, but I know it's really the power of the hat, so I shall forgive you." Harry let Draco go, and he sat back on his desk.

"So where are we going?"

"I don't really think we're going anywhere. I have this letter with an assignment, but I think it's a prank. Or in some really ridiculous code that no one could master, and of course you are now reading the letter because you think you can master it. My life makes me sad."

"That's tragic, Potter. What does this man mean my father has enough money? This is obviously complete rubbish!"

"Didn't your father try to take over Gringotts last month?"

"Perhaps."

"Draco."

"The damn goblins wouldn't let him! And you say pure-blood wizards are snobs! Damn, little, midgety things acting like we aren't good enough to steal all of their stuff, and go through the vaults with impunity. I mean, really. The nerve." Draco was very incensed. It was a common thing for him. Being that way I mean. Not that being incensed is common, no one thinks Draco is common. At all.

"Right. I weep for you."

"Anyway, I don't think this is a code. I think the director was drunk again."

"That was my thought."

"But still, undercover!"

"I know! Plus, you have your hat and all!" They both start to laugh.

Seamus walked by and said, "This is why people think you two are dating."

"What was that, Finnigan?" Draco called out.

"I said that is why you are a PRAT, MALFOY." Seamus gave him the two finger salute as he went over to his desk.

"Harry is happily married! And I am...what would you say I am, Potter?"

"Well, Ginny told me you were gay and in love with me."

Draco looked off to the side as he said, "That could be true, but I remember having a wife at some point. I got Scorpius from somewhere. Maybe I bought him? I know I have enough money for that."

"I vaguely remember some woman who used to hang about the Manor, I thought she was one of your father's secretaries. My mistake."

"Easy one to make, I suppose. It's not like I ever spoke to her." Draco shrugged.

"You know, I rather like this job. It's 30% drinking coffee, 20% harassing you, 20% lounging about, and 25% percent going through other people's things."

"You missed five percent in there." Draco leaned back to pick up the coffee pot, and refilled his cup. They had found it saved time just to bring it 'round with them. The other people in the office got tetchy, but Draco just reminded them that Harry is a Hero, and thus more deserving of coffee than them. The hilarious part was where it actually works. [Or where they still suspected Harry would snap and raze the office. In Draco's mind it was fine as long as it worked in his favor.]

"No, that five percent is where I do work."

"Ahh."

"Which part do you like most?"

"Going through other people's things. That is my most favorite."

Unfortunately, Shackleford came in right then, and not only gave them a real case to work on, but to add insult to injury, stole the coffee pot back. Draco requested an espresso machine for his desk, but Kingsley ignored him.

"I feel we are being mistreated somewhat." Draco said as he flipped open the file. Harry moved over when Draco stopped smiling, and he sighed when he saw a picture of a smiling family, waving at the camera. Usually when they got folders with pictures like that clipped to the front, the whole family was dead. Whoever put together the case folders had a nasty sense of humor. Harry kept meaning to ask about that, but had no luck with any kind of information related to the subject. It was almost like the world just doesn't want him to know things. He suspected Dumbledore's ghost did this out of spite.

They went through the file carefully, and Harry was correct. The whole family is dead, and it was a bit gruesome. It looked somewhat like they were mauled by a sort of large animal. There were marks all over their kitchen and living room from spells, but whatever did this obviously wasn't affected enough to stop it. Wizarding pictures of crime scenes were just as gross as one thinks they would be, and Harry really hated looking them over. Draco was going through the paperwork, muttering as he read so Harry can catch up with him.

"One man, aged 57, one woman, aged 56, two children, one boy, aged 13, one girl, aged 9, all found in their residence with multiple slash wounds." Draco stops talking and reaches over to look at the pictures Harry is studying. He made a noise, and said, "That's a lot of blood." Harry flipped to the last picture and showed him the writing on the wall that said, ' 'permansus unus permoveo.' [kind of...The Enduring One Agitates]

"What the hell does that mean?" Draco asked.

Harry shook his head. "I have no fucking idea." He sent an owl to Hermione, requesting assistance, and perhaps, a nice oblivate after this case was through, so he didn't end up having nightmares about the pictures. Draco was quiet besides him for a long minute, and then started dividing up the file. They had a system, Harry would talk to people, and Draco would research. It was just easier, since Draco tended to insult people no matter what, and everyone wanted to talk to the Saviour of the Wizarding World.

Even people who knew it wasn't in their best interest always wanted to ask him stupid questions about Voldemort. [Were you afraid, Mr. Potter, when you were faced with a vast Dark Lord who wanted your dead body to wave around? Harry tended to tell them no in a manly voice, and then finger his wand in a untoward fashion.]

Harry tried not to care, it was one of the reasons their solve rate was so high. He put on his cloak, and stole Draco's hat, and left the office to track down the people on the list Draco had given him. He really hoped that everyone on the list already knew that the Permiual family was dead, and he wasn't stuck with the excellent job of letting them know. He was really terrible at that, the people he gave the bad news to always seemed to cry all over him, as he stood there awkwardly. He hated having to magic snot off his robes.

He sighed as he apparated.

Draco flipped through the photos again, looking at the last one. He walked over to Seamus, and showed him the message on the wall. Finnigan shook his head, he'd never heard of that phrase either. Draco went down to the storage level, and sat down at one of the tables. He went through the same routine he always went through. He laid out his parchment, his quill, his ink, and the file neatly. The same way he'd always done his work since he was eleven, whether it was potions, or trying to kill The Head Master of Hogwarts, or solving crimes. Four hours later he found a reference to the Last One in an obscure spell book about water magic.

He frowned, the permansus unus permoveo was a vengeance spell used by merpeople on wizards who invaded their territory eons ago. It was a way to follow a wizard up to land, and destroy them. As soon as they left the water, they were attacked by...well, Draco wasn't sure. Something with claws it looked like, or maybe knives made out of water, why the hell not. His matching book with Harry turned dark blue, so he flipped it open to see Harry's notice that he'd talked to half the people on the list, and he was heading back to the office. Draco wrote back that he'd found at least the meaning of the words on the wall, and he would meet Harry at Litafulls for lunch and a review.

He stood up and snapped the rest of the books closed, then tapped his wand on the table. All the books flew back to their original spots, and he put everything else in his knapsack. He walked over to the entrance to storage and exited towards the elevators. He hoped Harry wasn't going to be complaining about crying people again, he hated having to magic snot off Harry's robes all the time. He thought it was someone about Harry's eyes, everyone had breakdowns on him. That or they were trying to feel him up through his robes, and pretending to cry. Draco couldn't really blame them.

Harry's interviews hadn't turned up anything of interest. Everyone said they were a nice family, with no ties to any shady characters, or urges to cut themselves many, many times. Everyone had already been notified, so no one had broken down on Harry. Though one witch had tried to feel him up anyway. Draco had smiled upon hearing that.

**Monday Night**

Draco was over at the Potter house, because he hated his flat, and Scorpius hated his flat, and Harry hated his flat. It was pretty much agreed upon by everyone actually that Draco's flat was awful. He kept it so he'd have an excuse to come over to Harry's a lot. It was a clever and completely transparent plan. No one really cared all that much. He spent a lot of time sleeping on Harry's very excellent couch, and Scorpius spent a lot of time sharing a bedroom with Albus.

After dinner, the adults had all played cards while the children ran around, and did their best to be obnoxious. After awhile, they were all herded off to bed, and Ginny went up with them, leaving Harry and Draco alone. Draco curled up on the couch, and said, "Entertain me, Potter. For I am a house guest."

Harry laughed and snapped open the throw from the back of the couch. He laid it over Draco, who stared up at him, eyes slitted in annoyance. Draco pulled Harry down until they were face to face, and Harry drawled, "Yes, dear?" in a remarkably good impression of Draco.

Draco scowled, and said, "You're not at all funny."

"Of course I'm not. Are we letting go of me any time soon then?"

Draco uncurled his fingers from Harry's shirt and closed his eyes. Harry leaned down a bit and kissed his cheek, before he said, "Night, Wanker."

Draco mumbled, "Ponce."

Harry's laughter followed him into sleep.

**Tuesday Morning**

Ginny walked into the living room, and saw Draco curled up into a ball with the throw around him. He always completely covered himself all the blankets on their couch like he was a five year old hiding from monsters. Of course, he might well be. She went into the kitchen and tapped the coffee machine twice with her wand. It gurgled at her, and then a minute later coffee started pouring into the pot. She arranged the sugar, cream, and biscuits, as it brewed. When the machine shut off with a cheery "All done!" she poured herself a cup, and then one for Draco.

She carefully added three sugars, and just enough cream to fill up the mug and slowly headed out to the living room. She set them down on the table, and nudged at the blanket pile with her knee.

"There's coffee here for you."

"I have told you to stop attempting to poison me, woman!" A voice drawled out.

Draco's arm appeared out from under the blanket, and the coffee cup was snatched up. He burned his hand and cursed. Ginny smirked, the trick was to make sure it was filled just to the brim, and he fell for it every time and never blamed her.

The blankets came down slightly as he drank and looked her over. She propped her bunny slippers up on the table and both of them wiggled their ears at his glance. They talked sometimes as well, but only to Albus. It was very mysterious.

Harry wandered out in his boxers, and came over to give Ginny a kiss. Draco scrunched up his face, and said, "My god, put on some clothes, Potter. Have some decency around house guests."

Harry grinned cheekily at him, and immediately started taking off his boxers as Draco yelped and pulled the covers over his face. After a long moment, he moved the blanket down and asked, "Is it safe now?" only to be smacked in the face with said boxers. The Potters were much amused with Draco's long and varied ability to swear.

As Draco was busy attempting to scourgify his face, Harry put his pants back on, and walked into the kitchen to get some coffee and steal biscuits. Well, it wasn't really stealing since they were laying out for him, but he liked to think of it that way. He brought his mug out and wandered off to sit on Draco's feet, and charm his wife into making breakfast. The kids stumbled down, bleary-eyed, and annoyed about ten minutes later.

Scorpius came over to the couch to let Draco fuss over him, and pet his hair. James said, in a deeply wounded voice, "Why don't you guys hang all over us like that?"

"Because." Harry waved his mug and said, "Be a lad, and get your dad more coffee."

"It's like you think we're house-elves!" James huffed into the kitchen. With the mug.

"Don't let your Aunt hear you say that!"

Albus came back out with the coffee, and a handful of biscuits. Harry pulled him up into his lap and said, "Now, who's my favorite child?" and James yelled, "HEY!" from the kitchen as Albus said, "ME!" very loudly.

Harry looked at Draco, and said, "I don't even have to try," as Draco said, "You're an awful person." They both cracked up. Lily and James came out, and sprawled all over the floor next to Scorpius, who made a very specific noise of protest every time his dad attempted to stop petting his hair.

"I swear you're like a damn cat."

Eventually, the children went upstairs to get dressed, and/or injure each other, and Ginny asked, "Harry, you remember that conversation we had Saturday morning?" and Harry immediately said, "No, I don't," because he was still sitting on Draco's feet.

Ginny looked at him over the top of her mug, and said, "The one where I said Draco was in love with you."

Harry winced. "Er, yes, I remember that. I thought you were daft, and also, Draco is sitting right here. Perhaps we should speak of this another time. Or never."

Draco leaned over Harry and said, "I see you did not tell him of the plan."

Harry said, "What plan? Why is there a plan?"

Ginny smiled and said, "We've decided to share you."

Harry spit his coffee on the table and said, "You've what now?"

Ginny waved her mug around and said, "Well, we've discussed it, lots, and you know, we both love you, and such, so I just thought it was unfair to keep you to myself. Plus, if it's the middle of the night, and you want a go, you can go and bother Draco, and I can get some sleep. It will be excellent."

Harry gaped at her. "This is a prank right?"

Draco put his hand on Harry's arm and said, "Why, Potter, I always knew you were a cocktease. Always offering but never putting out. I'm horrified."

Ginny said, "No, I'm quite serious, and also, Draco said I could watch."

They both started laughing as Harry looked horrified. He glanced at Draco, who smiled wickedly.

There was a rather large crash, and Ginny got up to go upstairs to check on the kids, and Harry said, "Look, I'm still not sure if this is a joke or not." Ginny just laughed and ran up the stairs yelling, "I'm coming for all of you! Run away while you still have the chance!"

Harry looked at Draco, who raised his eyebrow, and smiled. He reached out and put his hand on Harry's chest, and pushed himself off the couch, letting all the blankets fall off him. Draco was only wearing tiny black pants. Harry swallowed. "Is it a joke?"

Draco looked at him seriously, and said, "Would you like it not to be a joke?"

"I...um. I." Harry put his hand on Draco's, and said, "Maybe. Sometimes."

Draco nodded, and leaned over and kissed Harry, letting his lips linger against his for a long moment. He pulled away and grinned at Harry's wide eyes. They looked very green behind his spectacles.

He went upstairs to take a shower and Harry sat on the couch in utter shock until Ginny came back down to laugh at him.

She said, "I wasn't kidding, Harry. I wouldn't mind, though I really would like to watch. That would be brilliant," as she made eggs, and bacon. Harry kept setting the toast on fire because he wasn't focused.

He turned to Ginny and asked, "You wouldn't mind if I sleep with someone else? Seriously?"

"I would mind, but not if it's Draco. You're not allowed with anyone else, of course."

"Why does he get a special exemption?"

"Because I say so, now please stop burning the toast like that." She shoved Harry over to the table, and he watched her in silence. She's lovely, and wonderful, and when she smiled at him, he felt like the greatest person on earth. He got up and puts his arms around her and buried his face in her hair, and whispered, "I love you times a thousand."

She twined her fingers into his and whispered back, "A hundred million."

Draco came back down, and moved around them to steal some toast. Harry glanced over his shoulder at him, and Draco smiled slyly. Harry stared at him in shock, because it's the exact same feeling he gets with Ginny. He's not sure why Ginny noticed and he didn't, and he's not asking, because he doesn't need to be told he's slow again.

They all sat down at the table since the kids won't appear again for a half hour or so as they fight over the bathroom and clothes, and whatever else. Harry was buttering his toast as he asked, "So, um, threesome?" He set down the toast before he dropped it, he's still kind of confused this is actually happening.

Draco made face and said, "I'm not really that interested in your wife's breasts. No offense."

"None taken."

"Though I understand there have been several articles written about them, and that makes me curious."

Ginny stood up and pulled up her shirt. Draco nodded, and said, "They are rather lovely," while Harry yelled, "Ginny! What are you doing?"

She looked at him, and said, "So it's okay for you to flash him, but not me?"

"Well, we're blokes, and you're not a bloke."

"Yes, and Malfoy has no interest in my non-bloke parts."

Draco leaned over and says, "They're nicer than Pansy Parkinson's."

Ginny grinned. "Damn right they are."

Harry just put his head in his hands. He looked back up when they start discussing a possible schedule for when they might get Harry.

"I am assuming you want him on the weekends?"

"Yes, mostly. You should take him on Thursday, I think. Those always seem to be hurried for me, and this one is always very jumpy on Thursdays."

"Really? " Draco asked delightedly.

Ginny looked between them as Harry primly said, "There is nothing special about Thursdays."

Draco just grinned.

Ginny said brightly, "No really, what's special about Thursdays? Do you skive off work and go watch naked people dance?"

Draco leaned over, and said, in a rather loud whisper, "Thursday is when I don't wear any pants."

"Why's that?"

"I don't know, I just never seem to be able to find any on Thursdays, it's very odd."

Ginny nodded, and said, "I'm out right now, that's why I stole a pair of Harry's."

Harry choked on his coffee again.

**Tuesday Afternoon**

Draco was sorting through the file again, and saying, "Harry, I think this reminds me of something else. Do you remember when you came over to the Manor the first time?"

Harry gave him a sketchy look and Draco flushed and hurriedly said, "The second first time. The time I wanted you there."

"Yes, the time with the many cakes. I remember. Ron stills talks about that visit in hushed tones."

"Well, we had those strange cases we thought were linked, right? The ones where the witches were all bloody, do you think these are related?"

Harry sat up and pushed his hair back. "I don't remember them being slashed up like this. There was just blood everywhere."

"Right. I know that, but we never really solved those, no one did, and now we have these people, and maybe it's the same people. That turned out to be a very old, obscure spell as well. Don't muggles have, er, breakfast killers?"

"Breakfast killers?"

"Hmm, they murder people? In a row? Named after breakfast food?" Draco waved his quill, splashing ink on the desk.

"Serial killers?" Harry asked and Draco nodded immediately and wrote serial killers on his parchment. Harry shrugged. "I don't know a lot about that."

"Hermione gave me a few books, and the books said they have a pattern. We had four witches the exact same way, same spell, everything. Then nothing, and now five years later, this family. I know it's not the same, but lots of blood, and an obscure spell, and the books said they change sometimes after they take a break."

"I think you're reaching a bit much here, Draco. I know it bothers you that we never found whoever committed all those murders, but this doesn't seem related at all."

"Maybe. Oh! I'm late, I have to go! Don't mess up my files while I'm gone."

"Say hello to my wife for me."

"Of course I will." Draco smiled and grabbed his scarf and cloak before leaving. Harry sat there for a moment, and then went to their old files. It wasn't a bad idea to pull the old case files. Just to see, Draco was rarely off about random bizarre hunches.

Draco peered around the door and grinned when he saw where Harry was headed. He walked off to the elevator, and nodded to several other Ministry people before pushing the button for the top floor. He was probably going to be late, but Ginny would wait for him. He'd been having lunch with her every Monday for the past five years.

At first because it was necessary, there was a lot of bad blood between them for very obvious reasons, and Draco wanted the partnership to continue smoothly. Secondly, he didn't want Scorpius to have problems with Albus. It had been very difficult at first, but both of them had worked things out on both sides, sometimes just agreeing never to mention things again, like Draco's father. He was going today instead of Monday, because Monday had been spent looks through dusty books.

Draco apparated in front of the restaurant and straightened his robes. When he walked in, Ginny stood up to greet him, and he grinned, broadly. She was wearing low-cut robes, and was touching him way too much. That meant he had permission to hit on her, inappropriately. Hitting on married women was very high on his list of fun things to do. She slid her arm into his, and they followed their greeter to a booth in the back of the restaurant. He complimented her on her robes, and asked after her knickers, and she laughed and said she wasn't wearing any.

Harry showed up half way through their lunch to say, "Draco, I think you might be right, and also, get your hands off my wife's leg."

Draco drawled back, "I'm always right, and come sit down so I can put my hand on your leg instead."

Harry pushed in beside his wife instead, and kissed her hello. "I like your robes." She smiled, and said, "Thank you, Draco likes them as well."

Draco said, "You know, I did not get kissed, and I feel very left out."

Ginny leaned her head on Draco's shoulder and looked at Harry with her eyebrows raised. Harry shook his head, and said, "I am not ending up in the Prophet for kissing Draco Malfoy in public."

"Oh come off it, Harry, no one can even see us back here."

Draco smiled and said, "Scared, Potter?"

Harry glared at him, threw his glasses on the table, and reached over Ginny to pull Draco to him, before kissing him fiercely for a long minute. He let him go and said, "You wish, Malfoy."

Ginny said, "Merlin's beard," and drank the rest of her wine.

Harry tapped the folder he had in front of him and said, "Er, we need to get back to work soon." Ginny waved him off, and said, "Oh go ahead and talk, I put up a silencing spell as soon as we got here."

Harry hesitated, "Yes, but I don't think you want to hear about this."

She frowned as she said, "I've seen dead bodies before."

Draco circled her wrist with his hand, and gently said, "That doesn't mean you should have to see more."

Ginny was quiet for a long moment before she answered, "I understand, but I don't want you to feel you have to hide things from me because you think it will upset me." She looked at Harry, and then Draco for a quick moment before continuing, "I don't want to be those people, that talk around each other because they never say what they mean. If you can handle it, I can handle it."

Harry nodded, and Draco gestured for him to go ahead. "The bodies are all arranged in the same way. All laid out towards the north, with their hands folded over their chests. Like in a death pose, or something. Also, I think we might have missed something at those first crime scenes, when you look at..." Harry paused to pull a photograph out, and passed it to Draco. Ginny glanced at it and made a face, but didn't say anything. He started again, "When you look at the wall behind their heads in the light, it looks off. I think there was something written there, but we can't see it. Move the photo very slowly."

Draco stood up and looked at it under the light directly, frowning as he tried to see what Harry was talking about, but missing it. Ginny said, "Can't you just go back to the original flats and look them over?"

Harry replied, "Maybe, but it's been years, they've all been re-done, and rented out again, and how knows what might be on the walls. I'm all for trying it though."

Draco put down the photo and said, "I don't see a damn thing, sorry." Ginny leaned over and looked at the picture for a moment before pulling a magnifying lens out of her bag, and looking again. She nudged Draco, and he peered down, and indeed there was a faint black line on the wall. He looked at her in shock, and she said, "Harry had spectacles, I just thought that might be it."

Draco looked impressed, and kissed her on the forehead. "I'm a little turned on right now, Mrs. Potter." She laughed, and stood up to hug them both good-bye. "I'm going back to the children now to make sure they haven't set poor Teddy and Victore on fire. I'll see you both later."

She went to settle the check while Harry helped Draco put his cloak back on. He watched as Draco wound his scarf around his neck before saying, "Do you want to call Hermione to help with the flats?" Draco nodded. "If the revealing spell doesn't work, who the hell knows what kind of magic removal spells we will have to do, and if we fuck that up, we might take off whatever might be there. If it's still even there. Maybe I should be less intelligent in the future. It keeps working against me."

They found Hermione down in storage, digging through the racks about flobberworms. Both of them declined to ask why. She agreed to help them when they explained the situation, and it took a little bit of lying to get into the first apartment, but an hour later, they were standing in Mr. MacHelford's living room peering at the wall. Draco took Harry's glasses and looked through them, but all he got was blurry vision, and a bruise from hitting a chair.

Hermione touched the wall carefully, and murmured, 'Patefactus' at the wall. Noting happened, so she muttered a few spells to clear off any recent magic workings. Mr. Helford was hovering around them, interested as she swished her wand and said "patfactus" again, and 'permansus unus permoveo.' appeared on the wall. Mr. Helford moved back pretty fast, and exclaimed, "What is that?" Draco said, "Something good for us, and probably not fantastic for you. I think you should go off for a nice mini-break for a few days." He turned back to the wall and asked, "Granger, is there a chance in hell we can talk to any of the Merpeople?"

She shook her head. "You know as well as I do that the restrictions on talking to outside magical creatures has grown by about five feet since the war ended. I'm amazed we're still allowed to walk by the Forbidden Forest at this rate." She looked up at Harry, and asked, "Do you see anything other than the words? Any shimmer or anything?" He shook his head, and went over to the tap to pour a glass of water. He came back over and held it in front of the words. They all looked through the glass, and nothing happened. Draco said, "Mr. Helford, please stand back a bit further," before he put his fingers in the glass and flicked a few drops of water at the wall.

The letters started to move as Hermione and Harry put up a magical barrier. The words fell off the wall and onto the floor, inching their way towards the barrier. They all stepped back, but the words slid up the barrier and kept moving. Draco snapped his wand, and said, "Incendio" and everything went up in flames. The words were gone when they put it back out. Hermione frowned. "Is that a living spell? I've never seen anything like that." Mr. Helford fainted. Draco suddenly looked up and said, "Wait, how can this be a spell merpeople use on wizards if merpeople don't speak Latin? I think someone tampered with the books in storage."

Hermione said, "Please stop referring to the library archives as storage. It's insulting."

"To the books?" Draco asked, before continuing, "Anyway, it's where we store the books, it makes perfect sense, and forget that! I've been lied to by research! That is not acceptable! I bet this is a ministry plot, and it reaches all the way to the top."

"I'm quite sure the Minister of Magic isn't killing off people via some funny water spell. He kills people via boredom and loss of will to live after one of his speeches." Harry remarked.

"Probably not." Draco said, and then mused, "It's one of his junior under-secretaries, I bet, but I understand, that title is awful. I would be full of murderous rage as well."

"You're full of murderous rage when people get your coffee order wrong." Harry scoffs.

"Right, so as I said, I understand their murderous rage, because we have this thing in common." Draco said as he touches the wall. There is no shimmer left on it. He stood up and walked over to Mr. Helford, and nudged him. "Do wake up, Mr. Member of the Public, I'd rather not get yelled again for unconscious people."

Hermione looked up at Harry and asked, "Again?" and Harry promptly replied, "We're not allowed to talk about that time with the magical dinosaur in the lake." Hermione stared up at him, and said, "The magical what?" and Draco snapped, "He's already said too much."

She tried again. "What lake? Hogwarts Lake? The giant squid isn't a dinosaur." She paused before saying, "Wait, a minute, do you mean the Loch Ness Monster is real?" Draco turned around and waved his wand at her excitedly. "No! We did not say that! There is no Loch Ness anything! We have to go now!" He stomped over, grabbed Harry's arm, and they apparated out of the flat. She frowned when she saw they had left her with Mr. Helford. Luckily, Unspeakables were allowed to oblivate people.

**A few weeks before, also on a Monday.**

"You love him." Ginny said as she poured Draco's tea.

"I have no idea what you're on about, please pass me the jam." He answered.

"Harry, you love Harry."

"I do not love Potter. Jam, please. If I have to ask again I will crawl over you and probably be forced to touch you in a lot of places you would rather not be touched."

"Don't be so sure." Ginny looked at him, and Draco put down his knife. He said, "We have not had this conversation for years, and I, for one, would like to continue not having it for years to come."

"But he loves you, I know he does, and you love him, and you're around all the time now, and so is Scorpius, and he's happy. I'm happy. Keep your mouth shut right now, Draco, I want to say this. I know how you look at him, I can see it, it's not like I don't feel the same way about him."

"And you are his wife, and my best friend, for which I am very grateful, and I respect that, and would never do anything to sully that, and there are very, very few things I would say that about, so this conversation is over, and I would like the jam now." Draco wasn't looking at her when he says this.

"Draco, if Harry came up to you tomorrow, and said, 'Draco, I must have loads of sex with you now, right here on this table' what would you do?"

"I would say, wait, this would never happen. And also, I ended this discussion."

"I'm not done with it! Forget about the fucking jam and listen to me! If he asked for it, you would do it! You know you would! And this isn't about whether he loves me, I know he does, this is about you, and him, and how important you are to him, and me, and how he thinks of your son the way he does about our children, and I don't want that to end! I don't want you to spend the rest of your life unhappy because you can't have him, and I don't want you to sleep with him, and then come to me, and have everything I've spent all these years working for, ruined. So we're doing this the way I say."

"Maybe I don't want to share him. Maybe I want all of him, and I'm just biding my time, and one day, I'll come in and take everything from you, because that's the kind of person I AM!"

"You won't! I would never let you! SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW MALFOY!"

"Why the hell would you even say this to me! I was happy, and trying, and I like being here, and fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I'm going back to work now. And you can take your ideas and shove them up your arse!" Draco threw his plate against the wall and apparated out of the kitchen. He didn't go back to work, and he didn't see Harry, or Ginny, or anyone for the rest of the week. On Friday, Harry showed up, and apologized several times for various things that he thought might be a problem, and sat down and said, "Tell me, tell me and I promise I will fix it."

Draco said, "You can't fix this." and Harry said, "I can try! Everyone is miserable! We miss you! Just tell me!" and he leaned against Draco and said, "Let me try," against his shirt. Draco put his hands in Harry's hair, and leaned back against him and thought, 'She knew this, she saw this, and she knew, and jesus, I'm going to agree to this.'

He told Harry to leave, and to get Ginny to come instead, and Harry does. Harry had complete faith that Ginny can fix anything she puts her mind to, and he wanted Draco to stop locking himself in a room in his godawful flat, and come back to work, and smile at him again. He pretended to make tea out of nervousness as Ginny left. She thought he picked up the habit from her mum, and ordinarily she found that hilarious, but not right now.

Ginny showed up in Draco's room a few minutes later, where she pulled over a cushion, sat down and picked up his hands. She waited for him to say, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, you're right, you're completely right, and I would, and I didn't mean to do this, I swear to you, and please don't ever hate me, and yes, I absolutely want your plan, and it's a good plan, and please shut me up right now."

Ginny hugged him, and said, "Shut up right now, Draco," and they both laughed, and sat on Draco's lumpy bed with their foreheads pressed together and she whispered, "Harry Potter's Army," and Draco pushed them both off the bed.Ginny told Draco that she would be the one to tell Harry. She made sure they are alone in the room when she does it, but of course he doesn't believe her because he's slow. That is one thing her and Draco agree on very firmly. They also agree Harry is very fit, and they are both shallow, and it is very unfortunate, but what can either of them really do?

**Wednesday Morning**

Harry spent all morning trying to get Ginny to tell him why she is screwing with him in such a manner. Ginny finally hit him with the paper, and said, "Harry James Potter, I give you permission to have sex with Draco Middle Name Not to be Said by Me Malfoy whenever you wish. Now stop bothering me about it. Also, you're doing the washing up for annoying me."

Harry gaped at her.

**Wednesday Afternoon**

Hermoine came by Harry and Draco's desk and dropped off the family histories of everyone who has been killed via 'the scary letters that bloodlet' method. She stole candy from Draco's secret drawer of a hell of a lot of sugar while she was there per office policy. It is clearly marked, POISON, in big blue letters, so of course, no one falls for it.

Draco bought, and re-wrapped, candy from The Weasley shop, and added it to the mix, to make sure people understand he is not to be trifled with, but that doesn't do much either, plus, sometimes he got the candy and had a blue tongue for five straight days. He refused to let go of his cunning plan though, one day it will pay off.

Speaking of cunning plans, he leaned over to Harry, propped his chin up on his hand, and asked, "Do you want to go out to lunch?"

Harry looked shifty for a minute, and then hisses, "Is that a come on?"

Draco smiled, and said, "Of course it is, have you decided to start believing us now?"

Harry tapped the folder under his hand. He cleared his throat, and tried very hard to remember that they have a bunch of family histories to go through, and more people could die. Then he actually reminded himself that more people could die, and dammit, he can't go out to lunch with Draco. He said, "Er, we should get takeaway," and opened book one of a billion.

Draco frowned, and leans over to whisper, "What the hell is the problem now?"

Harry whispered back, "People could die!"

"What if we leave for a half-hour? Are you out of your mind? It's not like we're the only people working on this! There is a whole fucking group!"

Harry looked up at him and said, "A Half hour? That's rather insulting."

Draco raised an eyebrow, and purred out, "Oh, is it now?" and put his hand on Harry's thigh. Harry closed the book and said, "It's a terrible shame that I can't read, we should go have lunch now."

They ran out of the office, and everyone looked over at the doorway after they've gone. Seamus leaned over to his partner, Sendhil, and said, "Fifteen Galleons says they're going out to shag," and Sendhil replied, "Why would I take that bet, you do remember I'm also Auror who investigates things for a living, right?" Seamus sulked. Damn people and their ability to see the obvious keeping him away from their money.

Harry and Draco slipped through a back entrance to a hotel that Shall Remain Nameless. [No, really, that's the name of the hotel. It's really only there for the one reason.] They got on the lift, and passed absolutely no one, and got to room 397, where the key appeared in Draco's hand, as if by magic. Harry took it, and pushed open the door to see a huge bed, and possibly many other things, but he really couldn't see all that well, because Draco had already taken off his glasses, his robes, his shirt, and was working on his belt.

Harry pried Draco off him, shut the door, and dragged him over to the bed. He started pulling off Draco's shoes as he asked, "Hey, did you try to set up a tracking spell on that water spell?" and Draco answered, "Yes, but it was a dismal failure, can we not talk about work right now? We're on break, you know," and he pulled Harry down and kissed him, and the lamp caught on fire, because both of them have erratic wandless magic.

Harry waved his wand around [the magic one, er, the other magic one] and mumbled spells until it went out, as he tried to get Draco's work robes off with the other hand. Draco shoved him off, and said, "Hey, we have to go back to work, and I'd like to look not mauled by a wild beast," and Harry replied, "Are you completely sure about that?"

He sat up anyway, and tried to calm down, before he looked down at Draco, whose face is flushed, with his fingers spread over Harry's bare stomach. Harry leaned down and kissed him, slowly, and sweetly, and Draco blurted out, "I've been in love with you since I was eleven," and then said, "Oh my fucking god, I need to leave this room right now."

Harry held him still, and asked, "Really? But you...with the...and I'm a little confused here, " and Draco said, "You refused my hand you fucker, and also, um, I was lying, I just said that to get you in bed, and what luck, here we are in bed, let's not discuss this further." Harry said, "No wait," but Draco had his tongue in his mouth before Harry could finish his sentence, and it somehow seemed less important.

Forty minutes later ['Ha!' Harry thought. 'A half hour indeed!'] Draco laid there, happy and content with the world, which was Harry's cue to say, "So, do you still respect me?" and Draco answered, "I've never respected you, ever, and also, your voice is ruining my after-glow, stop talking now."

Harry ran his fingers up Draco's stomach and said, "Sounds fair to me. I thought you were completely fucking adorable the first time I saw you, and then you opened up your mouth and ruined that."

"I've decided we're never having sex again. Shortest affair ever. You didn't throw my trousers out the window, did you? Your man-beast ways are a little over the top."

They went back to work, and made eyes at each other, until Sendhil started openly throwing things at them, and they read through a million family charts trying to see if these people are all related. After many tedious hours, only broken up by several coffee breaks, and when Draco wrote lewd suggestions on the charts, they figured out that all the dead women, and the family, were related under one line, and they all had Mer blood in them. Harry wrinkled up his noise and said, "What right pervert got into the water and set up with a MerMan? Or Woman? Or just, Merlin, that's fucking disgusting."

Draco nodded. "I agree, Potter, it is sad you don't have Mer blood in you."

Harry looked at Draco for a long moment and touched his hair and sais, "You can tell me about the Veela blood, Malfoy, I won't hold it against you. I know your weak-willed ancestors couldn't help themselves" and then sat back while Draco threw a minor hissy fit. Draco hated when people said that. [Harry had told many a new recruit about Draco and his veela charms, and not to get too close lest they become overwhelmed.]

Harry mused, "I bet it's not even my fault I wanted to shag you, probably your sex magic," but Draco doesn't laugh at all, and Harry quickly apologized several times and swore that he definitely wanted to have sex with Draco many, many times, and it was Harry's fault entirely.

Draco rolled his eyes, and gathered the charts to take to Hermione to have unspeakable things done to them. He took the second copy of the charts to someone in The Department of Notifying People of Unfortunate News, so they can have their interns floo everyone who might have a horrible, bloody death in their future. He took the third copy to the place that researched family trees, but he didn't expect much to come of that.

 

**Wednesday Night**

Ginny took one look at Harry's face when they get home, laughed herself to death, and then locked Draco with her in a room so they can discuss things. Harry sat downstairs and played with the children, and tried to decide if he's okay with all this and then thought about how Draco owed him about 400 blowjobs at this point, so he's completely fine with it.

He ended up passed out on the couch of excellence with James, Scorpius, Albus, and Lily arranged around him. Ginny yelled at Draco for not taking pictures that afternoon, and took several pictures of Harry drooling surrounded by their children.

 

**Thursday Morning**

Draco had a big cheery smile on Thursday, and he hugged everyone in the house. The children shamelessly took advantage of this, and crowded around him for repeats. They ate muffins with a horrid amount of jam, butter, and clotted cream as Draco and Ginny had a secret meeting, before he dragged Harry out of the house for work.

Work was going to and from every damn person who was remotely related to the people that died, they figured out if they also have merperson blood. Draco had a little box that glowed if the wizard or witch does. He made it the night before while he was talking with Ginny. They found about ten more people, and informed them that the interns were telling the truth about the horrible potential death, and if they saw giant letters coming up on their walls, they are to leave the house immediately, and definitely not splash water on the wall.

They met up with Hermione later with the list of names, and confirmed she has removed all the spells still lurking on people's unsuspecting walls. Ron waited for them at Harry's desk, and when they return, they all discuss the case. It had occurred to Harry that in a way, he married Ron, and then started shagging Hermione. He told himself to never make this comparison out-loud or to think of it again but it crossed his mind again as they sit at his desk trading theories.

To stop the thought process, he shut his fingers in a drawer on purpose because if it works for the House Elves, it could work for him. Everyone stared at him, and he said, loudly, "I was thinking of the case, because I am dedicated to my job! So dedicated I have become clumsy! Stop looking in my direction now!" The rest of the day proved to be useless, and frustrating, and when Draco finally said, "We need to meet Ginny," Harry is very happy, and then he said, "Wait, meet her where?"

It turned out they are all meeting at the Hotel that Shall Remain Nameless. Harry kind of stumbled around the room for a bit while Draco stripped down, casually, in front of Ginny. He listened to her tell a story about Scorpius beating James to a play snitch they had been messing around with in the yard, and Harry interrupted to say, "This is surreal, doesn't anyone else see that?" Draco pulled Ginny up off the bed, and said, "Want to help me take off his pants?" and she grinned, and they both dragged Harry onto the bed, and took off his trousers, and pants, and shoes, and other items, and Ginny pulled off her top, and Draco pretended to shriek in horror, and they all ended up giggling.

Later, there was some kissing, and Harry got to pick and choose which one got kissed. Then he got to lick Ginny's breasts while Draco licked his cock, and he decided that life is perhaps less out to get him then he had thought from the first seventeen years. When Draco swallowed him down, and Ginny pulled his hand down to slide his fingers into her, he decided life is awesome, and should be rewarded, and maybe sent flowers and chocolate. He fucked both of them that night, and passed out with the knowledge that he was the studliest bloke to have ever lived. Ginny snuggled up his left side, and Draco to his right, and he said, "Thank you," over Harry's back. She nodded, and replied, "You'd better insult him a lot tomorrow, or he's going to be bloody insufferable."

**Friday Morning**

Harry raised his head, looked left, and then right, and said, "I am so fucking awesome." Then he woke up Ginny, and said, "Please tell me you didn't leave the children alone in the house!"

She scoffed at him. "No, I left them with my mum, do I look like a nutter to you?"

Harry laid on the bed in deep thought and finally said, "You left the kids with your mum so we could go have a threesome, I don't know what to say to that."

Draco smacked him with Ginny's right trainer, and said, "The words you are searching for are 'Thank you, you are the most awesome wife ever.' You are such a cunt, Harry."

Harry looked at Ginny and said, "Thank you, you are the most awesome wife ever. With the most awesome breasts ever, I really like them, I should tell you that more." Ginny nodded, and smiled at him. Harry added, "There is one other thing I want to say. To both of you."

They both looked down at him, and he announced, "I am the studliest bloke in the world," and they groaned and jumped on him.

**Friday Afternoon**

Hermione, Sendhil, Seamus, Draco, and Harry all had a meeting about suspect possibilities, and in the middle of it, Harry blurted out, "I'm having sex with Draco."

Hermione nodded, and said, "I know, Ginny told me."

Sendhil said, "I'm not giving you any money, Seamus, stop that." After a minute, he exclaimed,   
"Wait a minute, did you just say his wife told you? What exactly are you up to, Potter? And can you have your wife talk to my wife about it?"

Hermione frowned at the photo of a man jumping around and flailing in front of her as Harry said, "That's it? No yelling at me? Or judgment? Or calling me a slut? Anything?"

Draco said cheerfully, "I can call you a slut if you'd like."

Hermione stared at Harry and remarked, "If you would like to be yelled at, feel free to tell Ron."

"I think I'll skip the excitement of doing something like that, thanks."

They returned to their suspect search, and narrowed it down to five people who had motive, and expertise, but only one of them had a grudge against mermaids. Harry and Draco got nominated to visit him, because as Seamus puts it, if God wasn't going to punish them for sinning, he would.. Harry asked the man a series of innocuous questions while Draco pretended not to be going through his stuff. After a half-hour he waved a copy of the book he located the spell in at Harry, and Harry smiled his really friendly smile, and cast a full body bind on the wizard. The man's house elf lurked under the table in fear.

The man denied all knowledge of what the hell they are asking about, and Draco smirked. They heard this line a lot from many, many guilty persons. They gave him Veritasserum and he still denied all knowledge, and Draco stopped smirking and said, "Damn, I was hoping this would be easy, and I could go home and show you the thing I meant to show you yesterday, but was distracted from," and Harry said, "You could probably tell me about it, and Draco shook his head. "I feel it is better shown."

"I will bow to your wisdom here."

Hermione said, "I think I would like to hear it about." and Sendhil said, "No, really, Harry, how the hell did you get your wife to agree to this?"

Seamus said, "What the hell is the matter with all of you? We haven't found the killer, we made no progress at all today, and auror partners aren't supposed to be dating each other!"

"We're not dating exactly."

"Or fucking! Fucking is part of dating!"

Draco drawled, "Seamus, I don't really care if you ever have children or sex again, do you?"

"You can't threaten your way out of everything, Malfoy."

"Really? It's worked pretty well for me so far."

"Well." Seamus didn't have much of an answer for that, because it's bloody well true. "I would like a bribe."

"Okay." Draco said cheerfully, and they all turned back to look at the guy who was in the interrogation room by himself. He was picking at his nose with his wand. Draco added, "You get to take the prisoner home, Finnigan."

Finnigan remarked, "A very large bribe."

Harry said, "It's a good thing we can set our hours and that we're senior and all that."

"I agree lots, Harry. I don't miss when we had to work twenty hours a day to prove ourselves."

"I don't remember ever having to work twenty hours a day." Harry leaned over Draco solely for the purpose of rubbing against his leg in a rather wanton manner.

"Oh, I know, that was me, proving my dedication to the job. I let you ride on my coattails." Draco replied as he shifted closer to Harry's rubbing movement.

"You never."

Draco smiled slyly, "I let you ride something near my coattails last night."

Harry grinned saucily at him, and Sendhil exclaimed, "Please have your wife go and talk to my wife, I beg of you man."

"We've all met your wife, Send, that will never happen. I am fairly sure even a mere suggestion would involve the loss of body parts you may be attached to." Draco said before frowning at the file in front of him. "How high up do you think we need to rise in the ranks before it doesn't take the Ministry five years to listen when we tell them we see a pattern emerging?"

"I think we'd have to be about 250 years old and named Lords of the Realm." Finnigan said as he strolled back in.

"That's as I suspected. You ever wonder if they're secretly evil and thwarting us?" Harry asked.

"I don't really wonder about that, so much as know in my heart." Seamus answered as he flopped down at his desk.

"Did you escort that bloke out?"

"Er, mostly I did." Seamus made a rude hand gesture that set off Sendhil.

"Do I want to know what you mean by that?"

"How do you feel about a policy of plausible denial-ability?"

Harry glanced at Draco who nodded wisely. "I feel very firmly in favor of it." Harry said.

"Excellent."

Sendhil called out, "Hey, what was that bloke's name anyways? I've got to note it in the question log."

"Alvin Gregory." Draco threw said as he threw the letter of questioning at Sendhil to match up to the question log. It wasn't an official log, so much as a personal office list of the cover your arse variety.

"And we're sure he didn't do it?" Seamus asked. He didn't figure that guy could walk in a straight line unassisted, but he had seen stranger things in his time.

"Veritaserum cleared him, but we're not sure, no. It doesn't make much sense, he's the perfect candidate. Other than being dumb as a brick."

"I blame in-breeding and the bestiality." Draco said loftily.

Harry snickered and said, "Speaking of these things."

"Don't start that shite again, Potter! And don't tell everyone I'm part Veela! It wasn't funny the first three hundred times. That one imbecile kept tossing garlic at me."

"Everyone else in the room is going to have to disagree with you on that one, Malfoy." Seamus said as he sat down to review his own case involving a de-humidifer that had sprang up legs, and started attacking passers-by. Seamus strongly suspected it was just over-whelmed with it's job after the twenty straight day of gobs of rain. Only the one person had ended up at Mungo's, not even worth the second look in Seamus' opinion, but that was for naught. Where ever a crime is committed and so forth! He looked over the parchment and tried to decide what to request as a bribe from Malfoy.

"Anyway, we put a magic usage tracker on his house, and on the book, so we'll get a hit if he or someone else uses it. I'm thinking perhaps someone is setting him up nicely, but we haven't a clue as to who that might be at this point." Harry shrugged. He and Draco had gone through all the information that was available and Draco had probably invented some that wasn't, and this was the best lead they had.

Sendhil spun around in his chair and said, "Perhaps a cousin that was wiped off the family line at some point? Happened in that Donnalson case didn't it?"

"Yeah. That solve was pure luck though, Ron will admit it openly. Plus, we put in a request to the Family Historians, but good luck hearing from them in fifty years. What are you guys working on?" Harry wasn't all that interested but he figured he should ask anyway to make sure he was staying on top of things.

"Killer Appliances. Stay away from your oven, Potter." Sendhil called out as Harry pulled Draco up. Harry said, "We're off for a bit to take a look at some of the other crap in this pile."

"Yeah right. Pull the other one."

"I've Malfoy for that." Harry leaned down and kissed Draco just to piss them both off, and they walked out. They went to Dumbledore's grave because Harry wanted to leave some roses. It was the 20th anniversary of his death, and he figured it was worth noting. The third year Harry had come to Dumbledore's grave, he'd seen a paper swan sitting on top of his casket, and he had touched its wing, and smiled. It was still there and he turned behind him to Draco, who said, "Yes, that was Mother."

"Any idea what it says?"

"No, she didn't tell me what she said in any of her letters. The only one I've seen is the one she gave to me."

Harry turned around, surprise on his face. "She gave you one?"

"Yes. She apologized for putting me in that position, and a lot of other things over the years."

"What did you do?" Harry asked curiously.

"I burned it. Told her she didn't need to apologize, I already knew." Draco wrapped his hand around Harry's bicep. "She cried. That's one of the only times I've seen her do that." He looked down at the memorial, and said, "He had a lot of faith in me, I wish any of it had been deserved."

"I think some of it may have been." Harry said as he brushed Draco's hair off his face carefully. Draco smiled. "Do you think the old bastard foresaw this?"

"Wouldn't doubt it. He was very tricky." Harry said before he kissed Draco. He figured if Dumbledore could see them he was probably amused. Draco pulled away and whispered a few preservation spells and a sticking spell on the roses. He straightened up. "In another five years you can replace these. Until then, we have to go do some work."

"Right, we have to go sit outside Mr. Gregory's house and see if he goes anywhere or contacts anyone." Harry frowned. He wanted to go to a hotel and see some more of Draco's more advanced skills in tongue mobility.

Draco glanced down at the viewing screen in front of him and made a face. "If he ever gets out of the damn Ministry, you mean. I hope for the sake of wizard kind he never breeds."

"He could be trying to throw us off by weaving his way all over the place."

"Perhaps." Draco said as he opened the door to the car. "Maybe he's a secret agent trained in specialized attacks, set forth from the Muggles to kill us all! That would be a good story to tell at the next cocktail party I attend. I might tell it anyway. Besides, Weasley is following him, I'm sure he would notice something like that."

Eventually, Alvin got home, and went inside, as his house elf ran around him. Draco frowned and looked over at Harry. "Your shirt is wrinkled. You haven't even done anything, and you're a mess. I don't understand how my dear Ginny can put up with you." He reached over, and straightened Harry's shirt in a very fussy manner, his hands getting very near an area that Harry was quite sure he wanted Draco's hands near. He would have to investigate ways to encourage this sort of behavior.

They ended up sitting outside Mr. Gregory's house for several hours in their lovely car that is glamoured to look like nothing is there unless you stare straight at it. Since most wizards aren't familiar with cars, it's a pretty handy spell.

Harry said, "So, while we're here, and very bored, I think you should blow me."

Draco looked over at him in disapproval. "We're here to watch the house. That's not watching the house, now is it?"

"I can watch the house while you do that. Honest." Harry made the most trustworthy face in the history of all of Wizardom. Unfortunately for him, Malfoys are very immune to things such as trust.

"You're a filthy liar."

"You won't know if that's true or not until you do it."

"Damn you and your logic! Maybe I don't care if you're a liar." Draco crossed his arms, and attempted to look out the side window. He knew damn well where this was going.

"Oh, but you do, Draco. You want to prove me wrong. I know it."

"Oh fuck off!" Draco said as he cast a spell on the windows to make sure no one could see inside. Harry did not grin in victory, but only because he really wanted a blowjob. It was a delicate matter, you see. Getting your way with a Malfoy is quite an elaborate operation. Luckily for Harry, he had some practice in the matter.

Just as Draco leaned down to undo Harry's trousers, his mobile went off. Harry said, "Oh, don't stop because of that. It's Ginny, she'll love it." Draco rolled his eyes, but kept going. Harry still was not grinning in victory. He answered the phone, "Hello, luv."

Ginny said, "Are you planning on coming home at any time? Or have you run off into the wilds with Draco to become one of those men who performs lewd acts in public toilets?"

Harry answered, "Well. I'm not sure yet, but, oh. Merlin. I could be thinking about that a little bit. Oh, _Draco_, you should, yes, like that. And maybe a little. Okay, I'm shutting up, please go back to doing that."

Ginny asked, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing, really. _Fuck me_. We're on a stake-out. Very boring. Horrible. I can't begin to describe the dullness of, ohmygod, I didn't know a human tongue was even capable of that? You are a filthy person." Harry said before he remembered he was talking to Ginny still. "Er, I was speaking of the dullness, right?"

She started giggling into the phone. "I can't believe you've already talked Draco into that! I thought he would hold out for a little longer."

"You're underestimating my charm."

"No, I just thought Draco had learned some self-control. Anyway, when are you coming home, the children are claiming they miss their father. I suspect they are lying, but it's not something I can really call them on."

"We'll be home just as soon as Draco's done, and um. Do that again. No, that thing with the tip, and OH SHIT. YES THAT." Harry dropped the mobile into the wheel well, and Draco sat up and wiped his mouth before reaching for it. Harry was slumped over in the seat.

Draco said, "I'm finished," into the phone. "We'll be home within a half-hour. We might have to leave if any of the tracking spells go off though."

"I understand. I'm ordering come take away. Do you want Thai?"

"Sure, that's fine. I think I may have killed your husband, he's still kind of laying there, not moving." Draco poked at Harry in worry.

"He always does that, don't worry about it. He'll be around in about ten minutes or so."

"I bow to your superior experience and judgement." Draco said. "You really are okay with all of this right? I'm not encroaching?"

"Nah. With you to do it, then maybe he'll shut up at me about it. Works out fine." Ginny answered. "I'm going to go so I can call in the food. Come home safe."

"Bye." Draco hung up the phone, and smacked Harry.

"Huh? What?" Harry asked a little bit bewildered.

"We need to go home now. Drive." Draco pointed at the wheel and made spinning motions with his hand.

"Right. Right. Draco?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks. That was nice of you."

"Oh, you will be returning the favor later on."

"Will I?" Harry asked eagerly.

Draco wrapped his arms around Harry's neck and whispered, "Oh, yes. You will be doing lots of things to me later on. I promise you."

**Saturday Morning**

"I don't want to move! It's unfair! I don't even know where the child came from! Why should I have to look after him?" Draco whined as Ginny hauled him out of bed. He had possibly fallen asleep in Ginny and Harry's bed. Harry was downstairs on the couch where Ginny had left him. She much preferred sleeping with Draco who didn't attempt to suffocate her in his sleep. Draco claimed it was an example of Harry's poor upbringing, but he claimed that about all of Harry's behavior.

She dumped him on the floor and said, with no sympathy at all. "Scorpius would like to eat breakfast with you. I don't think it's too much to ask before you run off to fight crime."

"Bah. I do not fight crime. Crime fighting is for, muggles who wear funny outfits. I am not wearing a funny outfit! Nor am I a muggle! Unhand me!"  
Harry was woken up by four children lumping themselves all over him, and making large amounts of noise. He groaned, and tried to roll over, but Lily was wedged between him and the cushions, and not budging an inch.

"Why do you hate me?" Harry asked in a pitiful voice.

"It's our job! We make a wage and all."

"Who pays you for this job?" Harry asked in a suspicious tone. "Is it Lucius Malfoy?"

"You're very clever, Dad," Albus said brightly. "We're going to go eat now." The children all dragged themselves off Harry and plodded off to the kitchen. Ginny came down the stairs, and helped him stand up. He leaned down and kissed her before she could escape to the children.

"Please go and brush your teeth. Alternately, go bother Draco. Either one is acceptable."

"I'll brush my teeth, Draco will just kick me."

"I'll do what now? Does it involve violence? I like violence." Draco said as came down the stairs. He walked past them into the kitchen to get at the coffee, and after grabbing a cup, he sat down next to Scorpius, and stared at him, unblinking, for two straight minutes. Scorpius had to scoot over until he was almost in Albus' lap, before he broke down. "I promise not to make Ms. Potter wake you up again! Don't have me killed and feed to the peacocks! Dad! You love me! Try to remember that!"

Draco smiled, and tousled Scorpius' hair. "As long as we're clear."

Harry was standing in the doorway, shaking his head. "You're all bloody nuts."

"Oh, don't teach the children to say that, Harry."

All of the children perked up at once. "What are we not supposed to say? That people are nuts? Or bloody?" James asked very loudly.

Albus added, "Is it a combination of the two words?"

Ginny smacked Harry with a frying pan, lightly, and said, "See what you started!"

"I did not start that! You started that!"

"Side with me on this issue, Draco."

"I agree with Ginny as I am loyal to the end."

"Right. Traitor."

"Harry, can you...?" Ginny was cut off by the sound of the tracking spell alerting.

Everyone at the table jumped, and Draco bolted out of his seat to run over to the viewing screen. He shook it, but nothing popped up. Harry said, "I think it's the spell book."

"Well, what the hell is he doing with it? Is he going somewhere?"

They both moved back quickly as the spell went very loud and then cut off.

"Er, what does that mean?" Harry asked as he turned to Draco.

"I think that means he cut off the source."

"He, what? Destroyed the book?"

"I'm pretty sure that's what that means. I don't know if that means he's covering his tracks, or something else is going on. He hasn't had any visitors, he hasn't gone anywhere. The viewing screen would show that. Do you think he counter-acted the veritasserum somehow?"

"Maybe his appearance was some kind of complicated glamour? We were only meant to think he was a moron."

"We have to go." Draco said. "Ginny, we'll be back later. Harry, go put on some trousers."

**Saturday Afternoon**

They rushed into Mr. Gregory's house, and arrested him. He was very loud as they pulled him out. He yelled about having his breakfast interrupted, and rudeness, and something about his house elf gone missing. Harry and Draco were too busy trying to get him to stand still so they could take him into the office to notice what he was exactly yelling.

They eventually man-handled him into a side-room where they asked him a great many questions, and then re-asked the questions in more menacing voices, and then Seamus stuck his head in, and said, in a snide tone, "Perhaps you'd have more luck with finger puppets," and Harry threatened to remove most of his appendages.

Alvin opened his mouth and said, "I want some sausages! You have kept me here and denied me sausages for..." He paused to think. It was a long pause. "Some time! I would like to eat breakfast now!"

"Many people have died horribly, I don't care about your damn sausages. Shut up! Look at these photos! Do you see these women? What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything! I want to go home!" Mr. Gregory curled up in the chair he was sitting on. "Mean people. Always the mean people, come to see me. And no Snood to protect me."

They were questioning him again when a strange noise started in Harry's head. It sounded like water flowing over rocks. Draco stopped, suddenly, and said, "Oh. Shit."

"What?"

"I was able to put a tracking spell on the water spell after a lot of work with Hermoine." Draco pointed at Alvin, and yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU NOT TELLING US CRAZY MAN?"

Mr. Gregory said, "I don't have any idea what is going on! I have told you this over and over again!"

Harry tossed the viewing screen to Draco who was rapidly speaking several spells in a row, trying to figure out where the spell was being cast. He looked up and said, "Do you know anyone at 1859 Sliver Street?"

Alvin said, hesitantly, "I think I might have a cousin there. Named something with an S, I haven't seen her for awhile, but..."

"Shut up now! That's all we need!" Draco grabbed his coat, and he and Harry ran out of the Ministry until they got to the front, close enough to apparate to Sliver Street and bust into the house of one Sarah Fleming.

**The end** [This is only somewhat of a lie]

Harry and Draco ran into Sarah Fleming's house just in time to see Mr. I Pick at my Nose with my Wand's [or Alvin Gregory's] house elf, Snood, raise his hands and intone the spell.

Harry whapped it very hard with a book before it could finish, and it crumpled onto the floor. They both stared down the body, and then looked up slowly as Sarah fainted.

Harry said, "I guess we botched that one up a little bit."

"IT WAS THE FUCKING HOUSE ELF!" Draco yelled. "THERE WAS NO BOTCHING ON MY PART!"

Harry sighed.

**Two months later**

"And that's why I believe that house elves should all be set free and paid standard wages." Hermione finished up with a flourish.

The committee of the Assignment of House-Hold Goods and Services [AHHGS] called out, "Denied! Next!"

"But! You didn't even have a vote! This is ridiculous!" Hermione cried out.

"You've been talking for three hours, young lady, we voted after the first five minutes. Merlin. And please take those awful banners with you when you exit the podium, they are a terrible eyesore."

Draco, Harry, Ron, and Ginny all winced from the spectators seats. Draco leaned over to Harry and whispered, "As much as it pains my ego to say this, I really wish we hadn't solved this case."

Harry whispered back, "I think you're destroying my morals because I agree with you."

Hermione marched back, carrying her pins, and banners and said, "We'll just have to start over."

She couldn't understand why they all ran.

**Epilogue:**

**_Several Months Later, A Saturday Night._**

One of the annual balls for charity and goodwill, and other Hufflepuff related rubbish. Cleverly sponsored by Lucius Malfoy, Inc. [TM Evil pending.]

Draco sat on the benches with his legs stretched out with Ginny by his side. He had his arm around her, and she had her head on his shoulder.

Some guy from the Ministry walked past and yelled, "Malfoy, I think Potter might not like it that you're always feeling up his wife."

Ginny kissed him on the cheek and said, with narrowed eyes, "Well, his wife is quite okay with it."

Harry got a report across the ball that his partner is attempting to get into his wife's robes. Harry watched the guy walk away, and Hermione leaned over and asked, "Are there really people in the world that don't know Draco is gay?"

As that happened, Pansy cornered Ginny in the women's lavatory, and said, "So, it's my understanding that your husband is enjoying his partner's company a little more than normal."

Ginny swallowed down her smirk and answered, "Oh, is that so?"

Pansy leaned against the sink next to her, and smiled a little nasty smile. "Everyone is saying."

Harry and Draco appeared in the bathroom just then, and Draco spelled the door closed. Ginny and Pansy both turned to look at them.

Pansy said, "You understand this is the women's loo, right?"

Harry answered, "I think both of us have spent plenty time in women's restrooms. What of it?"

Ginny moved around Pansy and came over to give Harry a big kiss. Pansy raised an eyebrow, and then Ginny leaned up and gave Draco a kiss as well. She heard Pansy make a noise behind her, and she turned around and winked.

Pansy's mouth hung open as she ran over and smacked Draco with her purse. "You never said you arse!"

Draco rolled his eyes. "You never told me about the affair you had with Zabini and Baddock."

"That is a filthy lie!"

"Oh, it's filthy alright, but it's not a lie."

Pansy frowned. "It was only a few times."

"Please, you wench, it was more than a few times." Draco pus his arms around her and kissed her cheek. Pansy beamed up at him before leaning back to look at Harry and Ginny. She asked, "So how long has this been going on then?"

"Pansy, this isn't up for public discussion."

"Yes, yes, cross my heart, how long?"

Harry said, "Just a few months now."

Pansy said to Draco, in a mournful tone, "I can't believe you're dating a married couple. I've never gotten to do that."

Draco said musingly, "I'm not sure it's dating really."

"So, why are in here anyway?"

"Hiding from the Press. That Skeeter bloke thinks that since Harry isn't allowed to hurt him, he has free reign. I tried to explain that no such restrictions apply to me, but Harry made me run. Sometimes I think he just doesn't want me to have any fun in life."

Harry touched his robe, and said, silkily, "I have other fun in mind for you," and kissed him while Pansy and Ginny both whimpered. When they pulled apart, Pansy said, "My god, you bitch!" and Ginny said, "Ha!"

"Is everything okay in here?" An attendant stuck her head in, and frowned at all of them.

Draco walked over, and said, very loudly, "Oh, everything's fine now, I'm done having it off with Parkinson over the sinks,"and brushed past the gaping woman. Pansy yelled, "WHAT?" and went after him, smacking him in the back with her carefully aimed purse, and Harry wrapped an arm around her from behind, and whispered into her ear, "Be careful, if you bruise him, I can't put him on his back for you later," and laughed when she squeaked.

She turned around and said archly, "So, what is this? You get whatever you want for being Harry Potter?"

"Of course. Didn't Draco always tell you that?" Harry reached out his hands, and Draco, and Ginny came over to him. He walked down the hall with both of them on his arms. Pansy's laughter rang out down the hall behind them.

Thanks for reading.


End file.
